Grace-filled Disappointments
If you know me, then you know that I am a teacher for the little humans of 2nd grade. This will be my third year teaching and I am pretty excited. I will be officially starting back in a little over a week on August 24th. I will have 16 sweet 2nd graders. I am excitedly setting up my classroom, putting desks in nice collaborative groups, stations and centers where they are working together. There are things that they will share like pencils, scissors, and glue sticks. Over there is my calming corner I have set up for when they have big emotions they can use. I can’t wait to hug my kiddos and give them high fives as they walk through the door. There is something about kids being able to be kids playing together outside on the playground I just can’t wait to see them enjoy. But what I am mostly excited about is seeing those big eyes light up when they are learning and you can really see those gears turning to create something awesome. I can’t wait to squat beside their desk and they can see me smile at their work and then they look up at me and smile because you know they are proud that they did a good job!
“Wait a second!”, you might be thinking “Where is the social distancing? What do you mean sharing? You would be right. This is just describing the expectation this time of year holds for teachers. This week, I was faced with some disappointment when I was told I would be teaching completely online.
I didn’t sign up for this
When I found out I was 1 of 3 teachers of my grade level to be told they would teach online, my heart sank. I had a rock in my throat. It was a definite mind shift. I actually was setting up my classroom expecting to have students face to face and following guidelines. We knew that some teachers would be teaching face to face and others online, I just thought I would teach in person (at least really hoping). I then found out I wasn’t. I was bummed to say the least. I had to rearrange my large classroom to fit just me, myself, and I, instead of 16 students. The excitement dwindled as I looked out to the empty space and the bitter quietness. I thought, I didn’t sign up for this. When teachers get their degree, like most professions, they have an expectation set in mind of what they are signing up for. Teaching from behind a computer with limited means of interaction and collaboration with students, was not it!
You might not be a teacher and having the same expectations as I do. However, you might be a parent who was expecting to send their child to school. You may have been expecting to partake in an internship that you no longer can. You can fill in the blank of something you were expecting to happen and imagine it flips on its face. Think about that and you may know how I felt or even have deeper disappointment.
In this, I think about Mary. We don’t know if she knew all of what was in store for Jesus. However, she did know that He was going to be a King.
29 “Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. 30 “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! 31 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. 32 He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. 33 And he will reign over Israel[c] forever; his Kingdom will never end!” Luke 1:26-33
As mother, she probably had hopes and dreams for her son. That he would meet a nice lady and have children of his own. Her hopes may have included a better life than the one she had for him. However, if she did know about the pain he would have to endure, she may have said the same: I didn’t sign up for this. She didn’t sign up to watch her son die. But I hope to be like Mary, that it was well with her soul. Oh, how grateful we are!
The grace behind the disappointment
But there is grace! Now, like I said before, my brain was going through a dramatic shift and it didn’t like it. Once it saw the grass on the other side, it began to realize how much it actually might be greener. God began to reveal to me how he was really looking out for me in the mist of what I thought I wanted. The more information we got the more face to face teaching became complicated and frustrating. I was thankful I was remotely teaching to not have to worry about all of those details. God also showed me that my classroom can still be setup in a nice way to show students how I want to encourage, teach, and inspire them. I also didn’t have to wear a mask as an added bonus! 😉 Needless to say, in my disappoint God was really showing me grace.
God was showing Mary grace too. Without the pain of Jesus, we wouldn’t have ultimate grace that comes with salvation.
There is another example in the bible where 2 men were disappointed because they had hope and they thought it was lost. These two men believed that the Messiah had died and that He was not coming back. As they were walking to Emmaus, resurrected Jesus came to them disguised and asked them why they were upset. They replied:
‘“The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth,” they said. “He was a prophet who did powerful miracles, and he was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people. 20 But our leading priests and other religious leaders handed him over to be condemned to death, and they crucified him. 21 We had hoped he was the Messiah who had come to rescue Israel. This all happened three days ago.
22 “Then some women from our group of his followers were at his tomb early this morning, and they came back with an amazing report. 23 They said his body was missing, and they had seen angels who told them Jesus is alive! 24 Some of our men ran out to see, and sure enough, his body was gone, just as the women had said.”
25 Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. 26 Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?” 27 Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.” Luke 24:19-27
You see, these men were disappointed because they could not see the hope that was standing right in front of them. God gives grace even when we don’t realize it and when he changes our situation, it’s actually to make our lives and circumstances better. For His glory and our good!
I don’t see it
Maybe you are going through the hardest and darkest part of your life, and you just don’t see the grace or the good. Maybe you were hoping for something that was taken away or God told you, you couldn’t have. I don’t know what you’re going through and I won’t pretend I understand. However, I know that God understands completely. He loves you enough to take something away to give you better and that He cares deeply for you. I know that God gives grace even in our disappoints to show more of himself and more of what we truly need. I pray if you don’t see it yet, that you will! He will give you grace, just you wait.
See it now?
Here are a few questions that may help you see the grace behind disappointments. Please take a moment to look over them for yourself and see how God opens your heart.
- What are you wanting or waiting for?
- Why are you disappointed?
- What are you really placing your hope in? God or the things he can give you?
- Have you prayed about how God has changed your situation?
- Have you considered why he has given you a new path or has taken what you wanted away?
- I encourage you to take a few minutes and write a letter to God about this pivotal moment of disappointment in your walk with Him. Make sure to date it. Then when you return to it, see how God has worked through the change and grace he has given.:)
I pray for you as we go through this season of changes and disappointments. I hope you find rest and peace in knowing Our Hope knows us.
–LOVE, Amber
P.S Here’s something a little extra if you would like to read it! My husband Josiah recommended it from JIM club and said it would fit perfectly and I couldn’t agree more!
Parable of the Carpet:
Psalm 139: 13-14- “For thou hast possessed my inward arts; thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Some years ago, a tourist was being shown through one of the oldest castles in England, He was quite impressed with the rich furniture, the valuable art, treasure, and the beautiful carvings. He was puzzled, however, by one strange tapestry which had an unusual design and wild pattern. The knotted threads and odd blobs of color made it seem like the work of a disturbed artist. The guided, noticing the man’s stunned look, smiled and said, “Sir, that’s actually the most beautiful piece of art in the castle, but from time to time we find it necessary to turn its face to the wall to protect it’s delicate colors from the light.” Carefully rearranging the curious weaving, the guide showed the tourist the other side. It was breath-taking, beautiful. The needlework was the work of a patient, creative designer.
What parable or lesson can we learn from this carpet? Often God finds it necessary to turn our life so that it faces the wall. For awhile, all the happy colors, beauty, and planning are hidden from us. All we can see in the caret of our life are problems, doubts, and defeats. We know in our heart that “God has a wonderful plan for our life,” but where has it gone? In our spirits, we get confused and discouraged. But we must not lose heart – God knows what He is doing. He knows that too much sunshine will fade our life and ruin His holy design. The Christian life is not a garden path, not a bed of roses. We have Christ to walk with us through troubles, not to take all troubles away.
God is weaving your life into a beautiful tapestry. Though sometimes we see just the knots and twists in the caret, one day all its beauty and planning will be revealed. Romans 8:18 states “I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.” Consider the parable of the carpet.
My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper side
And I, the underside
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvass
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver’s skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
