Indecisive Paralysis
Everyone from the start of time has had to make decisions, big small, eat from the tree or don’t. We have made good ones and ones we often learn from through failure. We make decisions on what we eat for breakfast, what to wear, what to watch, and the list goes on. Those are pretty easy decisions which we seek advice from the weather, friends, or family. Big decisions are not much different, just well ” bigger”. You may have just graduated from college, getting ready to get your first job, decide which college to go to, etc. and those decisions may not be easy. One of my many decisions was to write this blog and this post. It was a pretty easy decision, but faced indifference. The real reason I am writing this post is I recently was faced with changing the location of my job, some of you may be facing also. When it comes to making decisions, there are a few things God made me aware of through getting to the final conclusion.
Ask Other People
When you are making decisions, it is good to seek advice…….from multiple WISE people. After describing my situation, I asked friends, family, coworkers about what I should do. However, I felt I was not explaining well with what I was facing. From all of my advisors, they said it was time for a change. Now these people have been my go to, they didn’t speak to each other prior to talking to me, and all at different places in life. So I considered what they had to say and logged it to help me make my decision. I realized I wanted them to tell me what to do, clear and simple. You have to be careful who you ask advice from and where they get their wisdom. Take Rehoboam for example in 1 Kings 12. For context: Rehoboam has inherited Solomon’s, his father’s kingdom. The people of Israel has come to Rehoboam to talk to him to lessen the load of the service that they were under while his father ruled. So Rehoboam has a decision to make, to lessen the load or to not to. He goes and seeks advice from the older men who was advisors of Solomon:
“How do you advise me to answer this people? And they said to him, “If you will be a servant to this people today and serve them, and speak good words to them when you answer them, then they will be your servants forever.” But he abandoned the counsel of the old men and took counsel with the young men who he had grown up with…….And the young men said, “Thus shall you say to them, “My little finger is thicker than my father’s thighs and now whereas my father laid a heavy yoke on you, I will add to it. He disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.” 1 Kings 12: 6-8, 10-11
After Rehoboam took the advice of the young men, he went to tell the people what he decided. But considering his decision was not wise but selfish, the kingdom became divided and the people went to their tents and lived in rebellion to the King. Be careful of the of the people you take advice from. Make sure they are trustworthy and have experience in giving great wisdom.
Peace or No Peace
I have been given very great advice from many people. Some say where there is peace that is where the Lord wants you to go. Peace can only come from the Lord, so it is a great indicator that you are on the right path. However, I have also had it said to me that the door that is open to you may not be a peaceful one. I begin to think of Moses or other people in the bible who doubted themselves. Many who have been in church knows the story of Moses and the Burning Bush. Here is some back story in Exodus: Moses is a Hebrew but was raised by a daughter of Pharaoh. He realizes and doesn’t like what is being done to his people and tries to stop it on his own. He kills someone and has to flee from Pharaoh who is trying to kill him. 40 years later, he is out in a pasture gathering sheep when he sees this burning bush. God is the bush that is burning but is not burning up. Moses is amazed, with sandals off, turned aside, Moses answers, and knows that this is the God of his ancestors. God tells Moses:
“I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey……”Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” Exodus 3:7-10
Here is where you begin to see that Moses is not at peace with God’s choice of Deliverer.
“But Moses said to God, Who am I that I should go before Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? Exodus 3:11. Also, during my morning listening to a podcast, it came to my attention that God asked Moses to go back to the man that wanted to kill him……. Would you feel peace about that?
And Moses goes back and forth with God on what could go wrong and why it’s not a good fit. But Moses listens and tells the people what God has planned. Moses continues in his lack of peace, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow to speech and of tongue. ” Exodus 4:10 And then God sends Aaron.
So you see, it’s not about having peace or not. Moses had a decision to make. He could listen to God and go or he could continue shepherding his sheep, where it was comfortable and safe. He was given a door and had to decide what to do with it.
Give Me a Sign
You might be thinking, well Moses had a clear sign!! Sure, he had a burning bush but its still the same God. You may have been asking for an open door and what God wants you to do. I have been reading “All the Places to Go” by John Ortberg, who makes a fantastically thoughtful statement!
“Imagine a parent who always commands their child’s life and decisions. (You may be thinking, That sounds like my parents, in that case you’ll need to see a counselor. You may be thinking, That sounds like a great arrangement! in which case your children will need to see a counselor.) If a parent’s desire is for their child to become a truly good person, they will often insist that their child make his or her own decisions….This means that God’s will for your life will often be “You decide”. -John Ortberg (Find this book in the tab Backpack of Grace)
The point here is, it is not about asking God to show you or demanding you to follow his will but asking him for the wisdom to choose. God cares more about the person you will become than the path that you take. He’s the very best parent! He’s gonna let you choose. He won’t always give you what you want! But He will give you what you need. When I was young, I wanted to be a teacher. Then the world got in the way and I wanted to be a lawyer and then a doctor to make sure I was going to make money and be happy (as well as those around me happy). But that’s not life nor wisdom. God knew through that process, I would not be the person he needed me to be, that I would have been selfish and living for others. Then by the wisdom of others and knowing my true heart, God presented the door to teach again. He did not present a bush nor did he push me through. I am now a teacher and believe I made the right choice.
SO God is not going to leave you or disown you if you make a “wrong” decision! He is a loving God and will teach you through it. If by chance, the choice you make is a wrong one, God will gently turn you back around. Two things: ask for wisdom and the most important thing, Trust God.
Are you still frozen?
While I was thinking through all of these things and checking the list of decision making, God’s grace helped me realize that I was making a decision to stay frozen. I was frozen in my decision to move jobs for 3 weeks before making it final, after I had thought about it for months. It was a risk in giving up a definite job for not having one at all. It was giving up a great team and school to work at. I was waiting on God to give me clarity and I wanted someone to tell me what to do. I just hated the weight of failing that it kept me right where Satan wanted me. Because I wasn’t making a decision, I couldn’t move forward in either direction. I wasn’t able to do what God had for me. It was like being stuck between two doors and not being able to move to open one. And THEN……..I MADE A CHOICE. By combining getting advice, praying for wisdom, discerning the pros and cons, and knowing that my God’s got me, I made a choice.
Thoughts?
Got your Journal? If you need one, there is a simple one on Backpack of Grace on the main page. Here are some questions to get you thinking about your decision making process:
- What are your choices? Are they wise?
- What are you afraid of? Are you trusting God?
- Who can you ask to help you think about a wise decision?
- Are you asking for a sign or seeking wisdom?
- Is it selfish or selfless?
- What’s your choice?
I hope this has helped you think through your decisions both big and small. Continue to trust God with all you got!
–LOVE, Amber