My Testimony

People-Pleasing

October 12, 2020 /

After I gave my life to God, I thought I was good. I wasn’t told it was a continual learning and growing with Him each day. Soon after my decision, I was planning to go to college. In my previous post, I explained that I lived for making my parents proud and what I believed they wanted.

That’s really the core of people-pleasing, it is trying to anticipate what people want and being that for them. It’s wanting to make everyone happy all the time. At the time of deciding on a college, I thought I had to go to school to be something people thought I could be. People thought highly of my grades, so I had to pick an occupation that matched my GPA. I decided I wanted (or I thought my parents wanted) to go to college to become a Pediatrician. I thought to myself, I can make them proud and also work with kids, it works. So I signed up for a 4 year college excited to have that full college experience and also give my parents something to brag about.

I went to East Carolina University intending to major in Child Development Family Relations with a Minor in Biology to become a Pediatrician. Well, God had different plans. In the first semester of college, God showed me what it meant to walk with him, what bible study was, that I couldn’t live for my parents, and helped me change my major. I remember coming home over Christmas and being afraid to tell my parents that I had switched my major to Teaching, none the less. They said they were still proud of me and could see me being a teacher. I was scared for no reason. That’s one major example of people pleasing in my life. Here are some more ways God has revealed to me that I am people pleaser and need Him everyday:

  1. I think about small things like apologizing because I have to think “am I saying sorry because I am people pleasing or am I being sincere”. This deep rooted sin comes from, what I believe, is a desire to be liked considering that wasn’t always easy for me growing up.

2. It’s something to really think about. I encourage you to consider why you do the things you do, what you wear, or listen to. You have been encouraged by someone or thing for you to do what you do. It is important to think, are you doing it because of people or for people. If you think about it and you realize you like dressing for people, then you might be a people pleaser like me. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I wear and I don’t wear what I don’t like. I am my own person. However, I do consider how others will see me when I wear certain things. You should dress appropriately, but not just so people will like you.

3. When I make someone mad or uncomfortable, I struggle with not making sure they are okay. I hate when I know that someone doesn’t like me or I have done something that has left a bad taste in someones mouth. I don’t like not being liked or people having the wrong impression of me.

And the list goes on and on. I fight people-pleasing everyday. Being a teacher with this deep sin, especially during COVID has been interesting. God has shown so much through COVID. The fact is you can’t please everyone. It ain’t gonna happen. I knew this long before COVID. I have to be very intentional, but the only person I want to please is my Heavenly Father.

I am so thankful we have God, who shows us a perfect example of how to live. Jesus was the opposite of a people pleaser. I recently read in the Gospels that He healed people on the Sabbath which in the law at the time, was prohibited. Jesus is killed because people didn’t like him. Jesus shows us that it isn’t about what people think of you or pleasing others, but loving people that makes a difference.

“4 Then he turned to his critics and asked, “Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?” But they wouldn’t answer him.” Mark 3:4

You may be thinking that wanting to be liked isn’t a bad thing. Sure, that thought isn’t bad but if it becomes your ruler, then you can’t serve God.

“10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Galatians 1:10

If I or you tried to win the approval of people we would be living for the world not God. It is easy to do when you are in a new place, when you are wanting to be liked, when you feel lonely, or just want to make others happy. Wanting to please others is easy to want.

However, you don’t want to hinder your relationship with God by idolizing other people’s thought’s of you.

“2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2

How do you see it?

So if you are like me or you don’t struggle with this sin, consider how you put others before God. Here are a few questions to consider:

  1. What is God teaching you right now?
  2. Has God been a second priority?
  3. What has taken the top?
  4. How has people influenced you in what you do in your day to day?
  5. Have you tried to please everyone?

Thank you for your support! As always,

—LOVE, Amber