My Testimony

The Knock

On the Third Knock

By Amber Beall 2018

In the darkness, you close your eyes

You run away from demons that fight

Morning shows the evening’s scars

Only to face tomorrows stars

In the distance, you look to see

What one might think is your destiny

Alone and forgotten, society shames

You’re not enough and you’re to blame.

You set center stage to play your part.

With a worn mask and an empty heart

People pleasing and incomplete

A sold-out show, filling every seat

Masquerading your imperfections

Plastered smiles and shattered reflections

No one knows who you are

Though it seems that you’re the star.

The curtains close and you take a bow

A job well done, you have fooled them for now

But you leave unsatisfied with yourself

Wishing that there was something else.

You cry yourself to sleep once more

Only to hear a knock at the door

The hole deep inside, that feels like something is missing

Hope’s on the other side waiting and listening.

You ignore the second knock

To begin the day, you continue to mock

Smiles at the ready, head held high

But to be true to yourself, you are living a lie.

You walk and talk, though not like you

But like your neighbor wants you to

The knock is heard once again

And you try to regain the strength to stand

No more,

No more

Silence is heard after blocking out the world

Trying to mold and create what they think is the perfect girl

Your on the  floor and you no longer want to run this race

Wear the clothes too tight or paint on your face.

You call on His name and open the door

He looks at you with love, like no one ever before

With grace and patience, He leans down

You say to Him, I’m ready now

You know in the depth of your heart

That He died for your sins, never in part

Though you have turned Him down

He always loved you, long before the ground

The hole filled and renewed

He will forever walk with you

In His hand, you are His

He will never break His promises.

The crowd looks different now

The world, the city, your small little town

Though people haven’t changed

You set fire to the center stage

Read the Word and keep it close

Love the Lord your God the most

Apply it to your life every day

Share it with others along the way

The Lord pursues you and loves you just the way you are

No need to think that you’re faded and beyond too far

Trust that He has you through the thick and thin

It isn’t easy, and you still sin

But look around you and you will see

That heaven is your destiny

The Father has stored for you a crown

And one day you will wear it proud. 

History behind the Poem

I wrote this poem about a girl that has a story like many. This poem reveals a testimony that shows a process of life without Jesus and a glimpse of one with Him. The girl in this poem was once very lost, in a world she thought she ruled, but really it was everyone else ruling her. Well, I can say she had enough.

Now this poem was written with others in mind as well. It was to describe what many people face each day and what they may not yet want to realize. Often enough, people don’t think about why they do the things they do, dress the way they do, or talk the way they do. This poem flashes a light on how we may go around not really knowing who we are because we are subconsciously doing whatever people around us are doing. Then a knock begins to wake us up to reveal that what the world defines us to be is not our destiny.

We all have our struggles as we walk through this life. When you accept Christ, that doesn’t change. However, I can guarantee you that it is the only way to fight the battles that this world brings. The true beauty behind this is He is always here waiting for you to just open the door and let him in. You don’t have to go to a special place, do anything but ask him to come in and acknowledge what He has done is the truth, and He has done everything for you. I wanted people to see that God will put opportunities in your life to open the door, but He won’t make you open it or even welcome Him in. You have to choose to do that.

I wrote this poem with a young Amber in mind. I was 17 when I truly gave my heart to Christ. So as a teenager without Christ, I went through a lot of trying to figure myself out through the eyes of others. Thankfully, on that summer day in 2013, my life without Christ began to die. Many aspects of this poem has pieces of my testimony buried inside of it, more so than I’d rather admit. However, I am open about the ever-amazing changes God has and is still doing in me and I am inspired by Him to share it.

Sharing My Testimony

For the month of October, I am going to share a piece of my testimony with you. This will be a video on here as well as the impatient grace facebook page. A spiritual testimony is how God changes your life from one without Him to one with Him. This includes what He continues to do through you now that you have welcomed the Holy Spirit to work in your life. If you know Christ, you have a testimony, no matter how small you may think it is. Trust Me. My posts will be broken down in these parts.

October 3: Coming to Christ

October 10: People Pleasing

October 17: Words

October 24: Doubt

October 30: Not My Story

As we go through this “series” I want you to think about How amazing God truly is. Think about your own Testimony of how you came to know and love Christ. You may have been 5 when you understood and accepted this truth or you may yet to. Here are questions to get you thinking.

  1. What do you remember about the transformation that God did in you when you first really began to change the way you think?
  2. Where has God brought you from?
  3. What has God done through you to bless others?
  4. What struggles are you facing, that God can handle?
  5. If you don’t know Christ you may not be able to answer these questions, therefore, what interests or curiosities do you have about knowing God? (always feel free to ask questions).

I pray this poem and plan touch your heart. I pray that my testimony will give you even the slightest glimpse of how Amazingly Wonderful our God is!! Thank you for supporting me!!

–LOVE, Amber